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Sunday, December 14, 2008

Was "Apendage Removing Chap" taken?

In a search for ideas for the agency's upcoming superhero-themed holiday party, I came across what is undoubtedly the worst superhero of all time. Meet Arm Fall Off Boy. His super power? Well, he just kind of gave it away, didn't he? AFOB had the ridiculously useful ability to detach his arm and beat people with it like a club. Now—in all seriousness—I've actually thought about this as a power. (I used it in something I wrote at some point I think.) But seriously. The fact that DC actually made him a real character is dumbfounding.

Feel the raw power:


He's got a Wiki page too if you don't believe me. (Wikipedia is 100 percent accurate. All the time.) Sadly, it seems our hero had a rather short-lived career in the Legion of Super-Heroes.

If you look at the article you'll notice a reference to a nearly equally retarded character. Welcome Matter Eater Lad. (Again, these names don't really go for the suspense factor.) His ability was, of course, being able to eat through anything. You say you need to get into the control room. Why, just let Matter Eater Lad munch his way through the steel door. Yep.


His Wiki page.

Honorably dumb mention goes to Bouncing Boy.


He's sort of a lamer, white version of Fat Albert. Or perhaps Veruca Salt.


You'll also notice the appearance of Blockade Boy in that Matter Eater Lad comic. If you read closely you'll catch what he's able to do. I'm not even going to dignify his dumbness with a comment.

If there was any argument that DC Comics are better than Marvel, this pretty much ends it.

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